Before the Weekend

Okay, so I'm feeling terribly unmotivated, but since I love you all soooo much, I am here, in front of my computer, writing out my first real blog. I feel obligated to get one in before the weekend, because friday through sunday, in my schedule is COMPLETELY taken up with W, my wonderful boyfriend, and I rarely get on the net, save for a few glances at facebook...

In any case, I thought it was particularly important to write because my main story is actually about said boyfriend! And I hope that this little nagging issue will be resolved over the weekend, and I can report back to you all!

So here's the scoop:

I've been with W for almost eight months now. Believe it or not, that is the longest I have ever been with somebody. (I get bored easily...) Which leads to my issue: At the beginning of our relationship, sexuality was charged, and exploratory, as it always is at the beginning of a relationship. And with me being a seventeen year old girl, and him being a thirty year old man, I was blown away with his experience and patience. Frankly, sex was great. The greatest I've ever had.

Now, lemme throw another little puzzle piece at you: I have never experienced a g-spot orgasm. Despite his most valiant efforts, and my own experimentation, it just doesn't happen. I can achieve a clit orgasm, but only through oral, or when I'm by myself. (What I mean by that is, I can't get myself off when he's around, unless his face is in my crotch.) We've talked about this issue, and have come up with a few theories: I'm still not at my sexual prime, and haven't completely discovered myself. Also, it is possible, I have a mental block, because of past issues. (I'll probably get into that with you later.)

In any case, I don't come. He has eaten me out to orgasm twice, and I have used a vibrator, and made myself climax (with his help) once. Even so, I still enjoy sex. Any woman will probably agree that, even without orgasm, sex is pretty awesome. And so, we do it all the time.

Here's where I actually get down to the nuts and bones of it all: We have three positions, (if I'm lucky) and one place that we have sex (his bed). I give oral very often, but I have to fight for it. We used to have sex in the shower, or in front of the tv downstairs, but we don't do that anymore. For now, it's missionary, or me on top, and if I ask VERY nicely, he'll flip me over and come at me from behind.

I am so BORED.

Don't get me wrong, as stated above, I do enjoy sex whenever we do it, but I don't look forward to it, I don't crave it. Because I know we'll do it exactly the same way as last time...

Here's another tidbit: He is infertile, and we are both clean, so we have condomless sex. Shouldn't that mean that our sex lives are so much more spontaneous than they are?

And believe me, I've tried hinting and being nice about spicing things up. I try to dress up, maybe have sex in my super cute clothes, or maybe do a little roleplay. Nope. Even the stockings come off, and then we have sex naked. I begged him once to tie me to the headboard, and he complied. And then he proceeded to have sex with me, just as if nothing was different. I even got less attention than I do when my hands are free.

I don't even get wet anymore, and he doesn't notice. The hardest orgasms that he has ever had occurred during two evening when I was feeling particularly apathetic, and didn't participate as much as I usually do. He tried to give me oral on V-day, and I couldn't come.

The worst part of it is, every other part of our relationship is perfect. (This isn't something I'm gonna dump him over.) But it's really making me realize some things.

There's no passion in our relationship. He hasn't dropped the L-bomb yet, even though I've been whispering it in my sleep for four months... And now this sex thing.

I've realized too, that I am one of those girls that just gets BORED with things. And I don't want to get bored. I don't want to search for attention elsewhere, and end up making a mistake. I want the attention from MY man!

And so, I've decided that, since being nice and hinting didn't work, I'm just gonna straight out and say it, "I'm bored. Sexually. Make it better."

Yeah, we'll see how that turns out... Might actually make a real fighting couple out of us!

We'll see. Not really looking forward to it, but it's worth it.

I'll give you the list of casualties on Monday.